Czar,
First of all, I do not know what to say to you hahaha. I feel like you know all of my thoughts already. Yet allow me to remind you again how wonderful you are as a friend, a roommate, a sister, a classmate and a human being.
When I first met you, I never knew that there will come a day we’d be close, let alone be friends. I barely noticed you during our first day of school as college students; I simply was too clueless. I forgot how we got close. All I remember was that from the moment I knew you and I were from the same dorm, we would always go together to class and I would wait in front of your door early in the morning and there are even times when I’d go inside your room without knocking and your old roommate would be weirded out but nevertheless she’d smile and say that you were still taking a bath or off to somewhere else. I never knew that those subtle, simple moments would lead us to where we are right now.
I never knew I’d have a friend like you, Czar. I was always the gloomy one. Boring and pessimistic; the girl who barely goes out, sticks to routines, smiles rarely, buries herself in books and acts as if her life is one big dramatic movie but when you entered, everything changed. Believe me when I say that if you’d look at me years before today, you’d barely recognize me. I have changed; I smiled a lot already, went out on crazy adventures, all because of you. I always wanted to do such things before, but I was too afraid, too pained by the laments of this world. But when you, soulful you and vibrant you came, I learned that it’s not that hard to break out from our shells after all; that all it takes is one person to pull you out from the current.
Czar, I admit that I get annoyed of you most of the time but don’t blame yourself. I’m just the type of person to hate someone even without a certain, legit reason. I do not hate you because of you, I just well, am a moody bitch. Hahahah.
I pray that we would have more adventures together and that we would achieve and fulfill the dreams that we have ever so casually talked about in café’s and beside busy streets. I pray that you would never give up on life; a casual line but I mean it. I know that you have your inner demons dragging you down, trying to drown you in darkness and misery but always remember that you are never alone in that fight. You always have me. I often muster a monstrous face but deep inside, I am fucking soft and you know it.
I care about you even if I act like I don’t (its bc of my pride lol), I secretly pray for you whenever I can sense that you are struggling inside. Know that I am lost soul, a confused believer of God and light but I never hesitate to talk to God when it is you I am placing in the line ( and my family too). I never talk about myself when I pray but whenever I get the chance, I always mention you in my prayers and that no matter what, you may always have the life you always imagined for yourself even if I cannot.
There are times when we are laughing about inside jokes, I pause for a moment and take in the situation, realizing how blessed I am to have you as a friend and as a companion through thick and thin. There are times that we may not talk to each other because of some things that may be bothering us individually, personally but I can always guarantee you that I will always be your friend, your nigga, no matter what. You are the manifestation of a ‘’through thick and thin’’ buddy. Because I know and you know, that we have been through a lot of shits and shines already but nevertheless, here we are, still strong and pretty. (char) hahahah
I am fond of lengthy letters so please, endure with me. Besides, this would only be the special time of the year that you’d get all the sappy and sweet messages from the people around you, might as well embrace it.
Czar, I pray that you’d reach your dreams, no matter how hard (hard daw hahaha *wenk). I pray that you will be successful and happy throughout your entire life, because a person like you, kind, sweet and emphatic deserves all the worthwhile things and blessings this life can offer, You deserve every good thing in this world. I pray that your smile will never fade no matter how heavy the burden you are carrying on your shoulders. I pray that all the desires, whispers of your gentle,longing heart be granted all in God’s perfect time.
As we are about to enter the serious stage of our course, may you always remember that when everything seems difficult to wade through, impossible to accomplish, I am always a bed away, struggling with you too. I may seem calm and quiet and pulled together, but believe me, I shit you not, I am stressed too. So, if you’re struggling, I am struggling with you too. Remember, broke buddies forever right? Throughout ramen diets and skyflakes for dinner, we always have each other to lean on.
I thank God for giving you to me, for placing you in my life because I cannot imagine what my life would be without your evil laugh, kyeopta smile lurking though the corners. I pray that you’d always be humble and that you’d never belittle yourself nor feel insecure. You are perfect czar. You are no less. You have your own strengths that are others’ weaknesses. We have our own gratifications and shortcomings. Always remember that you have a lot of people behind you, cheering you on every step of the way, through every bumpy road and I, am one of them.
Happy happy birthday Czar and have a blast today! I love you! See you soon roommate!
Cheering you on,
Zealous and smiling;
Amid downfalls and
Rocky paths,
In between rigorous roads and
Not-so-great moments,
A friend, I may call her; Who
Knows every cry before one is spoken
And every subtle smile,
You know her well, you know her through
Every changing rhyme
For her heart and
Loving soul, knows kindness,
One that brightens;
Resting on her, is a love that grows
Ever so subtly true;
She is a friend, a potent soul that tends to every broken wound.
- Thes (5/22/17)
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