The Longest

Ever since I was young, I always had it in me the courage to give even if I'd clasp nothing in return. Even if my efforts for the people I care about often go in vain, I was never less deviated to offer what I have, to give a piece of what made me.


But I was only 16 and summer camp came and I saw you under the radiant reign of the sun, basked in so much light and beauty that I lost all the courage I had in abundance. What I lost was replaced by something new- it was replaced by love. Right then and there, you spun my world 360 degrees farther. Your smile, your curly locks, your eyes- oh your abysmal eyes; never failed to entrance me every time I set my eyes on them. But throughout your ethereal soul, all I could do was stare. Look at you from a distance, dwell and then realize that I would never have you.


I only knew you for a moment but you dwelt in my heart for what seemed to be a lifetime. Indeed, I already love you even before I knew your name and heard your voice. And then, fate played with my soul and decided to bring me and you together- we were teammates on the entirety of the camp's activities. I had glimpses of you, we even talked for a bit. We even shared stares, songs but nevertheless I was the only one holding the spur of the moment dear.


I dedicated poems for you and sent them to be aired onstage. I did that almost every second of the day, you occupied my mind, my heart- everything that was once hollow in me oozed in love and inspiration. The camp was only for four days and I made every minute count. You were hyped, enthralled by the fact that there's this dreamy lass who sends you poems on a daily basis, hour by hour even.

Each day, I woke up with the hope that somehow, I would be noticed by your captivating eyes and your beautiful soul that's beyond words. I didn't know what had gotten in to me, you were only there for a second and then poof! you already ransacked my heart and left it in a state of calamity. I was left gasping for your name and you knew nothing. I was just a mere girl, too young, too naive to know the intensity of my feelings. I saw you as my world and you only saw me as a teammate, a mate to beacon with through every challenge we encounter with all our other group mates.



It was the last day of camp and it came in like a breeze. It's as if I had only set eyes on you today and then you were a disoriented blur on the next. We were asked to give a letter to the person that we had long been wanting to talk to ever since the camp came about. You were the only person I had in mind. I wrote you a letter, it was in a one fourth size paper, and I consumed two pages, all containing my thoughts about you and how you started mattering to me in a span of four scrimp days. But I knew, deep down that it would go unsent, rotting in between the gaps of my hands as I grip it, never destined to be read by your eyes. I folded it and kept it in my pocket as I went back to our holding area.

My camp buddy, who happens to be your neighbor, told me that I could ask her to give my letter to you. My hope riled up. I instantaneously gave it to her not minding how things would transpire after. I was nervous and anxious. I was not expecting you to say your acknowledgements but nevertheless you did. You came to our camp site, wearing that smile, oh your pious smile. You inched the distance between us and asked if it was me who sent you all the poems and including the letter. I nodded, shaking so hard, hearing the throbbing of my heart in my ears. You hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe. I counted. It was 5 seconds of heaven and bliss. They took pictures of us. And then you left, vowing to never forget me.

My courage was replaced by love and the price I had to pay for the replacement was gallons of uncertainty and assumptions. We texted each other, our homes were only even blocks away. But then a day came where all of my dreams were crushed to ground. You texted me 9 words, too little to matter yet enough to leave a debris in my heart that'll last as long as I live. "Don't fall for me. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."


I was beyond saving, beyond broken. My feelings were used against me. It destroyed me and you knew nothing about what I was going through. I fought the fight alone, defenseless- with only my heart as the sacrificial lamb, I was beyond repairing.


It's amazing how you mattered to me and how I paid the price for caring too much. I had nothing in return, I gained not a bit of your love, I only grasped the shards of my heart, the debris that you've left. And then that was that. I love you yet I was left hollow because of doing so. Someday, I hope you'd find it in you, the courage to love and let people love you. It's a wonderful thing. I did. I have. And will always love you. I only met you for a moment yet you never left my mind even this very second. It's quite jarring to know that you can fall in the kind of love that only takes a second to find yet years to forget and I fell deep in a seconds rule.

When we'll meet someday, I hope you'd let me love you already. But I always would love you anyway. No matter what the price, no matter how long, I'll always have the courage to give even if I'd gain nothing in return. I only wanted you to accept what I could offer, I didn't want you to cultivate it. I only wanted appreciation even if oblivion will come next.

But no matter every little thing I have been through because of caring for you and letting you dwell in my thoughts, in my heart, in my life, I was never less thankful for knowing that you existed.

Thank you for making me feel human for 8 months. For giving me the feels, the blushes, the joy and even the pain of waiting. Thank you for coming in my life and never making it the same.

I'll never forget you. Thank you.


"The shortest moment,
spent with you,
is the longest 
on my mind."
- Lang Leav

Tekken 7's Latest Filipino Character: Josie Rizal

Almost four days ago, Tekken 7 creator Katsuhiro Harada released its brand new character Josie Rizal, a Philippine inspired game character in Tekken 7 which was likened to the name of the country’s national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal. 

             This game character’s outfit resembled the colors of the Philippine national flag. The character was dressed up with a yellow top, belted with red and clothed with a blue mini skirt. The Filipino crowd took it as recognition and fame for the Filipino’s National hero, Jose Rizal. Although many were delighted of this new Philippine-inspired character, not everyone had all smiles on its release.

             Some patriots feared that the world might resemble the Filipinos and its national hero to the new Tekken character. Other officials took it as an insult based on the character’s set of clothes and how it resembles the colors of the country’s very own flag. It may have seemed to describe the Filipino people and how they dress up or anything like that. The world might get an impression that somehow the Filipinos resemble the traits bared upon by the new Tekken character. Although the game developer said that if the Filipino citizens won’t support Josie Rizal, they would most likely replace her with any other character which they can do any time.

                Honestly, I was partly happy when the Philippine’s got recognized even just through a game character. Although the developer said that he has already known the characteristics of our country and our national hero’s even before he made Josie Rizal. I’m getting mixed signals regarding this new game character. This new character may have recognized or insulted our country or was it named in honor of our late hero, Dr. Jose Rizal because they just wanted to? Who knows what it's up in their sleeves, what’s up in Josie Rizal’s flair sleeves.

               The new Tekken 7 character somehow made the name of our country's hero a casual and an easy thing well in fact we had handled Dr. Jose Rizal's name well and with much due respect and after everything, his name would just be used for a game character? I guess part of this is half right and half arguable. Right in a way that we can see the creativity of the game developer Harada, how he customized our hero's name and how he made use of our flag's patriotic colors in the character's outfit and half arguable in the sense that somehow our hero's regal name was belittled and violated and worse, converted into a girl's name.

                 I guess this is a warning for us Filipinos, that we should be vigilant and sensitive enough to sense that the world is now using new ways to step down and violate our country's important personas. The world has grown wiser and has took discrimination into a whole new level. Although some may say that it's only a game character, but for me its not just a mere game avatar, Josie Rizal holds the reputation of the whole Filipino civilization. Would you like to hear foreigners saying: "Oh look at that character Josie Rizal in Tekken 7. Look at her outfit. Maybe that's what the Filipinas commonly wear in their country." It doesn't sound good to the ears right? Although none has said that exact statement but who knows what the world has been speculating about the game character? About our hero? Our own country? Our own reputation? It's only a game character, there's nothing serious about it but it has hit a nerve to some patriots.

              May I ask you, would you like your national hero's name to be taken into a game character and be converted into a girl's name? It would sound cool right? An adaptation of your national hero? Who wouldn't want that? But, before you take on a name for a game character, choose a viable and an appropriate name to make fun with. 

The Death of a love one: STEPS TO ACCEPTANCE

Death is probably the state that human beings fear the most. And when death is mentioned it means the permanent vaporization of a living entity to continue its divine pilgrim in a different dimension. As to the people that dead soul has left behind, nothing but grief, depression and confusion rule their thoughts. What remedies could be done to lessen the loss and sadness left by a loved one who has gone their way? Here are some simple ways that’d help ease the pain but remember it would only minimize the grief not completely take it away, recovering is a long way and it isn’t that easy to forget about a love one’s departure eternally:

1. Keep away the things that mostly remind you of the person

Although that doesn’t mean you’re going to throw away all the things that that person has in his/her closet, this step simply means that you should keep the highly valuable things that can mostly make you cringe in tears because you have remembered a memory of that person regarding that certain thing. If you keep on displaying it and letting things seem like the normal, you’re sabotaging your moving on process. Nothing is ever going to be the same ever ever again. Things have changed now, keep that always in your head.





2. Seek for help

You could never go on through grief just by yourself, you’ll need friends who’ll understand and be with you up until you get better. Accepting a death of a love one is never that easy and recovering is just as hard as losing that person. You might be spacing out on the first few days, unable to absorb why that person has left you permanently, one way or another you’ll seek for people who’ll never give up on you and give you the hope you have lost upon losing that love one.

3. Pray for guidance

When dealing with grief, you don’t need only your friends and your family members, you also need the divine intervention of the Almighty. You’ll always find comfort by just praying and asking for guidance to let you accept that death is a part of life and that people would come and go no matter what. Although at some point you’ll question why God did take away the person who’s dear to you and leaving you all alone by yourself wrecking your mind for the possible things that you have done wrong. Stop. It’s not your fault. 
Some people need to go in order for us to learn that life is never a bed of roses and that we need to discover things in life on our own. Always ground yourself in God and believe that he would always provide no matter how hard the situation you are in may be. He will guide, he will provide.






4. Live for those who are left

Remember that you aren’t the only one who’s left behind by that person’s eternal departure, the people around you are dealing with grief too and they have also realized that being strong and accepting a loved one’s departure are the only choices you’re left to take on. Remember that life doesn’t end when you lose one, there are far more things worth living for and things happen because God has an equal plan as to what your life may become and at some time you’ll realize that what has gone has taught you something way more significant and you’ll be happy you have aced and discovered it yourself.




 5. Take things slowly

After everything that you have been through, then you’ll realize that acceptance never comes in easy and instantly, it is a gradual process that you’ll unravel day by day. It’s like unwrapping a gift slowly for you’ll know there’s a great thing that’s waiting for you inside that gift. Just take things slowly. 

Acceptance does not require you to forget about that person, it’s about learning how to live your life without that person anymore. Although, at some points, you’ll remember that person-may it be because you accidently went to the place you’d always sit on when you talk together or maybe you had a glimpse of your picture together, when all things were still well, learning to let go is a state of happiness and happiness is a state of acceptance. Just learn to take things step by step, bit by bit, you’ll pull through.





 6. Breathe

 Now, you have come to the last step of acceptance. Inhale deeply and forget all the pains the death of that love one has caused, for he/she is already happy wherever he/she may be. Remember all the people who never gave up on you and has kept you strong and in tack even if life has shown you all the possible ways to break down and end everything at once. 

Exhale and learn from the experience that even if you have lost a love one, you have learned more than what life has to offer and the best part is you have learned it all by yourself and through the sadness you have been through. 

Lastly, start anew. It’s not about forgetting all the memories you have been through with that person, it’s starting to live your life without the uncertainty and sadness the memories of that person has caused, it’s starting from the beginning with the acceptance that people come and go for a reason and we may be pained because of their departure, they’ll always leave a mark in our hearts. They’ll always be remembered and we’ll never forget how they touched our lives at one point and made us feel loved at the simplest way.

Start again and carry the love that loved one has left inside your heart. He/she may be far from you reach anymore, always know that he/she is looking out for you wherever he/she may be and that your life would still go on. A death of one does not mean the end of another. Accept that things leave and God has a reason why.

 As mysterious as it can get, you’ll know why, as time goes by. Breathe and start again. It doesn't hurt to be happy even after things have fell apart.

True colors

                The bible has mentioned that only the opposite gender can settle together—meaning boy to boy and girl to girl relationships has never become a legitimate option. But as time changed everything, the forbidden has become a practice. Why? It is because people discovered that true love and contentment isn’t only exclusive for opposing genders, love is open to anyone who’s ready to accept their partner, regardless of what they’re made of.

                Research showed that same sex relationships often last long than the normal boy-girl commitments and this drew the third gender inhabitants to continue what they have started—settling with partners who has the same sexuality as theirs. Same sex relationships last long for both parties have seen their partners reveal their true identities on their worsts or at their bests. The civilization heard about this notion for quite a long time already and we cannot just forget about this issue and act as if nothing life-involving happened. This same sex marriage issue should be taken at a high regard for it holds and concerns the lives of those who were born admiring the same sex at a different way.

                Same sex relationships is already existing and nothing humane can make it wither away like the crumbs of a burning flesh. Humanity has already embraced its existence and people had already lived their lives with such normalcy even with the fact that boys marry each other or girls tie bonds for a lifetime. 

             Nothing is right with marrying the same sex but by this time, it has already came about. And did the ecology crumbled? No. In the eyes of God, this kind of relationship may be nothing but a recoil to the commandments but you could never again straighten a pole that has already been bent. Same sex relationships and marriage proved that the usual things we got accustomed with can go beyond the usual and shift three hundred sixty degrees en route.

                As a witness of same sex relationships, nothing is wrong with loving the person who has the same sexuality as you, as long as you respect each other at any state and that you’ll accept each other no matter how the tables may turn. The civilization today has even received the title of “the Hybrid generation” because people tend to do the unusual and follow abominable practices but at what point had it harmed the society? Same sex couples even tend to acquire more success that the norms for they never perceive change as bad thing, instead they incline to every possible thing that could help them persist, as long as they never step on anyone’s soul during the process.

                Same sex relationships/marriage may be biblically wrong but humanity has already embraced its turnabouts and possibilities and it has caused nothing vile to the human civilization. Although some people never place their hopes on marrying or settling in with the same sex, but it doesn’t mean that what’s never accepted by the public could never conspire and thrive. Other individuals gnash their teeth at the sight of same sex couples but they have never known the happiness and contentment the couple is embracing because they’re together.

                Living in today’s time, it is inevitable to see people settle with their own breed and what we should do is never judge them for what they have been doing, for they stir their own lives and they know their limits. We have nothing to fear for it is their own will power and decision to be in that state and being in that position somehow makes them happy too. At least they have been real about their identity.

See? Humanity must never take same sex marriage as a vile thing, it has been the identity of many and it has been their way of life. They have already taken it as a state of normalcy, why couldn’t we?  

Adults criticizing selfies

                The never ending trend of faces plastered on our social media walls surprisingly stirred cyberspace, wreaked havoc the mobile world and affected some adults that aren’t used to the hefty fad of posting photos of themselves publicly, making them visible to the eyes of every living being online—even up to the far corners of the world. And we couldn’t deny that the people who commonly appear on our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram feeds are from our very own community; may it be from the people we personally know, our mere acquaintances, our schoolmates, our neighbors, our old high school friends, our enemies (oh yes of course), our close family friends, our relatives—anyone we have possibly known and encountered with on a day-to-day basis.

                Due to the vast trend of selfies or “photo/s of thyself”, it has come to a viewpoint that adults and some old citizens cringe by just the mere sight of young individuals typically imprinting digital memories out of photos that are posted on their respective social media walls. Thus, this craze led to a debate that concerned the young mass and the adult folks.

Memories need to be kept, imprinted upon the lives of the owner and the involved—an alibi that has become an excuse as to why the young post selfies and groufies online. I will say it again. It’s okay to display the things that we have been doing and the things that we have done online but we should keep in mind that we are feeding the audience specific information that’s enough to risk our own safety and well-being. And that’s what the adult folks have been trying to imprint on the youngster’s mind. Safety. We are exposing our lives out in the open without even realizing that at some point in time, our very own posts would be used against us. The young sometimes compromise their safety for fame and I tell you, it is never right. I am an incoming college student and I, as the days dragged on, have thought well about this certain notion.

Memories need to kept but we should always keep in mind the possible things we are risking when we relay our lives out in the open field. It has never been wrong to post photos of ourselves online but always remember that too much of everything is vile. The young audience might as well should learn to control and be mindful of what they post online, for those things can and will be held against themselves.

Adults go against selfies because they have been a witness of young people posting things way more mature than their age, thus leading the young to explore things that still aren’t destined for them to discover. Although we cannot deny the fact that some adults are just way too overrated and aren’t that open to modernization, still majority of them are concerned of the safety and welfare of their young brood.

People will stare, make their time worth their while. But never compromise your life and safety for that worthwhile time you have been fantasizing about. Remember that things can and will be used for the better and for the destruction of your own lives.

Before you post a selfie, take heed of your safety, not just the attention you'll get that'll uphold your status in that moment's rule. Your selfie will resonate across all the corners of the world. Who knows what'll happen to it when you close your eyes.

Someday

Stifle a smile,

pretend for a day.

It could go on for a while,

you'd pull through someday.

Wrist

She painted her wrist, 

Her life was a mess. 

People knew her when she smiles, 

Her wrist reared red butterflies.

In lead

The sturdy floor held her little being,
She was gazing at something, 

something so utterly amazing;
but she never thought 

that seeing a thing so timid,
would slowly eat up 

her happy mind;


Something so amazing 

was a girl and a boy together,
they were cuddling and 

talking to each other,
and as gentle as she,

she was there to suffer;


Inside her mind 

was a long stoic riddle.
she hadn't known 

why seeing the one she loves 

treasure another 

made her stand in awe,
she deeply knew her heart 

would earn new scars, 

both stinging and raw;

She finally closed the window

and started to look at life 

from a different view,
where in dreams and hopes

pile up like books,

where she could start 

anew;


She vowed to never again 

hurt herself,
by pretending,
collecting burdens

up at a shelf;

Ahead of her is a road 

that'll make her life better,
a path where she learns 

as she suffers,
her hope never again to waver;


She has to keep her heart alive

and never inept,
se just needs to stay strong and 

fix her life,

make it weigh;


May she follow 

the light ahead of her,
so she'll no longer weep 

and eternally suffer.




(1/1/15 1:46 am)